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Slash Attack
}} Roy and Belkar meet Tarquin. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Tarquin ◀ ▶ Transcript Roy: Who's this Guy? Belkar: Hold on, let me just consult my copy of Who's Who in the Crappy Dictatorship You're Stuck In. Tarquin: I was just watching you spar. You're quite the warrior. Maybe the finest we've seen in some years. Tarquin: If nothing else, I'm sure you'll put on a good show tomorrow. Roy: Great. Six years of schooling have qualified me to fight to the death on the whims of another. Belkar: Actually, that's pretty common in the current economic climate. Roy: Too bad I won't do it, though. Tarquin: What, won't fight? Roy: Won't kill another man who's been run through your sham of a legal system. Tarquin: Then you won't live past noon tomorrow. Pity, I could use more men with your skills under me. Roy: I wouldn't work for a coward who lets others fight for him and hides behind a mask. Tarquin: Please. If you want to look me in the eye while I tell you your fate, then so be— Tarquin revealed his face. Roy: *GASP!* Belkar: Would you look at that... Tarquin: What? Tarquin: Do I have something on my face? Roy: No, uh, no... It's just—uh—you look like— Belkar: You look like a really handsome man, and hanging out with these sweaty gladiators has turned my friend and me totally gay. Tarquin: Oh! Well, thank you very much, buy[sic] I'm soon to be married. Roy: Uh...right! Well, darn. I guess I missed my chance. Belkar: That's a shame, because if there was one person with whom my friend would want to hook up, it would be someone with your face. Belkar: Your exact face—though maybe, say, twenty years younger. Belkar: I'm sure he's picturing it right now—running his strong callused hand through fine blond hair... Roy: Shut up, Belkar! Tarquin: No, no don't be embarrassed. I get this all the time. Tarquin: Tell you what, if you change your mind and live through tomorrow's fight, I'll see what I can do about getting us on the same team. Tarquin: The army team. Not the, you know, "other team" team. Tarquin: Like I said, I could use more men like you under me—and I now realize that maybe that's not the best turn of phrase, either. Tarquin: Anyway, I look forward to the games. Good luck. Belkar: "Caress, caress, caress, caress my lithe supple body!" Roy: Do you WANT to get hit with the big stick again? Belkar: That's what HE said! Trivia * In panel 5, Tarquin’s positioning and dialogue mirror Elan’s dialogue and positioning in #141, panel 7. * Belkar's first line in the last panel mimics Elan's typical formula for bardic music, for example as in #4, The Power of Music. * The title refers to "slash fic", fan-made content in which characters engage in homosexual acts. External Links * 753}} View the comic * 172733}} View the discussion thread Category:Roy and Belkar Become Gladiators